excuses

10) I feel too young to be having a 40th reunion.

Guidance counselor: Think of it as the 4th time you've had a reunion.
Pompous Teacher: All the more reason to party. Now get up and dance!

9) I feel too old to party.

Guidance counselor: Seeing old friends may actually rekindle your youth.
Pompous Teacher: Don't worry; we'll have paramedics and an automatic external
defibrillator on hand.

8) I peaked in high school.

Guidance counselor: I'm sure you're still well liked.
Pompous Teacher: Yea, and I used to be tall and good looking. Maybe this will bring back
your so called glory days.

7) High school wasn't that great to begin with.

Guidance counselor: Everyone will be glad to see you.
Pompous Teacher: You probably suffer from early stage Alzheimer's. You had a great time,
but just don't remember.

6) I need to get in shape/lose weight/have a hair transplant/whiten my teeth/laser my
eyes/visit the Botox-liposuction-facelift-cloning clinic.

Guidance counselor: Don't go to any fuss. I'm sure we'll love you just the way you are.
Pompous Teacher: Knock yourself out. You've got plenty of time to get on Extreme
Makeover. If that doesn't work, show up anyway and maybe you can make contact with a
good plastic surgeon at the reunion who can give you a free consult if you buy him/her a
drink.

5) What if nobody remembers me?

Guidance counselor: Of course people will remember you.
Pompous Teacher: After all the plastic surgery, your own mother wouldn't know you.
Besides, some of us are lucky to remember our own names. That's what name tags are for.

4) I'm afraid the people I want to see won't be there.

Guidance counselor: We're counting on you to recruit them.
Pompous Teacher: Just don't warn them you're coming and maybe you can sneak up on
them.

3) I still live in Pittsburgh and already see the people I want to see.

Guidance counselor: Don't be selfish. There may be someone who wants to see you.
Pompous Teacher: It sounds like maybe you moved back in with your parents and still have
a curfew.

2) I live too far away.

Guidance counselor: If you're looking for an invitation to come back, THIS IS IT!
Pompous Teacher: Alcohol makes a great cure for jet lag.

1) I think I'll wait for the 50th reunion.

Guidance counselor: Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today. You may regret it.
Pompous Teacher: Don't press your luck. We're not getting any younger. Now get up and
dance!